With the Emmy Awards currently in full swing, I thought I’d come up with some categories for my own awards: The Tangled Threads.

But these aren’t awards for things you like; it’s for things that drive you crazy! Consider these the quilting version of the Razzies.

Nominations and winners are included.

Worst Noise to Hear While Quilting

• Sound of your sewing machine grinding to a halt for no particular reason.
• Sound of your needle breaking into 1,000 pieces.
• Sound of your cat having diarrhea while laying in your fabric stash.
• Sound of your partner asking you “what’s for dinner?”
• Sound of social media notifications to distract you from what you’re doing.

And the winner is…

Sound of your partner asking you “what’s for dinner?”

Least Favourite Tool to Use While Quilting

• Seam Ripper
• Iron
• Hand sewing needle
• Thimble
• Hair clips or whatever “hack” is popular on Pinterest this week

And the winner is…

Hand sewing needle!

Most Annoying Thing to Find in a Pattern

• Reference to another pattern that you also need to buy to complete that project.
• A layout diagram that looks like it came from blueprints for the International Space Station.
• Use of a specialised tool that you will never ever use again for any project ever.
• Pressing instructions that make joining pieces as hard as possible.
• Pressing instructions to press your seams open.

And the winner is…

Use of a specialised tool that you will never ever use again for any project ever.

“I’m so glad I paid $24.99 for that!”

Most Annoying Fellow Quilter

• That lady that finishes two quilts a week, while maintaining a perfect household and Instagram feed.
• The know-it-all in your local guild (note – this may actually be me).
• The people who ask “what’s your favourite online quilt shop?” in your Facebook group at least three times per week.
• The person who insists if it wasn’t entirely done by hand, you might as well have bought the quilt at Wal-Mart.
• The person who comments “modern quilters don’t respect history” over and over again on any blog she can find.

And the winner is…

The people who ask “what’s your favourite online quilt shop?” in your Facebook group at least three times per week.

Agree with the winners? Have any other category suggestions? Let me know below!

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